Am I crazy, or is it really love?

• I was in a relationship with someone for about 8-9months. He was the first guy I’ve ever said I love you too and meant it. I was there for him through everything. When I lived 300 miles away and he got sent to juvie for heroin when he KNEW I hated heroin because of my mom was addicted to it yet I was still there for him through it. Dating an alcoholic and a heroin addict may have been the biggest mistake yet. I hate alcohol because of my past which I’m not going to bring up but even thought the hatred I have for those to substances I thought I could still make the relationship work out. After a while the truth started to come out now how he cheated on me multiple times with one of my so called “best friends” at the time and he was drunk every time. He would always tell me how we wanted to spend the rest of his life with me and how he wanted to grow old with me and eventually one day get married and have kids together. We started to fight a lot more and he started shooting up and getting drunk frequently and that was the end of our relationship. Since then I’ve yet to be interested in any other guy since him. I still love him we do still talk all the time just this past weekend I slept over at his house on Friday we ended up getting drunk and having sex. He told me he loved me and wanted to get back together even though he’s had another girlfriend for almost a year now, the next morning we woke up sober and he kissed me on the forehead and said good morning beautiful Saturday: I didn’t end up seeing him at all that night I had a mental break down and ended up cutting myself which led to worse things. Sunday: I saw him and he had a hickey on his neck, which was not from me. We got into a fight and I ended up going to the hostipbal later that night because of my cuts. The doctors digoansed me with pschytoic depression, social anxiety and multiple personalities. When I got home we talked about everything, he told me he’d go to my next apt. with my therapist and we’d all sit down and have a talk. Later on into our conversations he told me he was going to break up with his girlfriend for me just to find out he was drunk.
• I honestly don’t know what to do. Am I obsessed with I’m or is it real love? Is it me or him? I feel that were the best/worse people to be in a relationship with each other because of our problems. What do other people think about this situation? Please help me and tell me how you feel about it. Is it me or do I blame it on my problems, do I really love him. So many questions please help.